Thursday, March 3, 2011

"It's French for 'Hello'!"

This thing has happened to me where I'll be in the middle of saying something and then I just stop talking.  It usually happens when I'm talking to Jesse and there are 4,567  other things going on at the same time.  I'll start to say something, and then a few minutes later he'll say, "You never finished what you were saying.  What were you going to tell me?"  And I'll look at him blankly and say, "I have no idea."

I believe this is due to the fact that my attention span is now that of tse tse fly.  I think the cause of this has to do with conversations like the following ones:

"Mom, can you put my elbows in my sleeves?"
"I need my elbows in. my. sleeves."
"I'm going to play slooter tag."
And then, because I have no more brain cells, I go ahead and put Hadley's elbows in her sleeves.

Here's another one:
"Mom, I have to tell you something."
"I think I like Grandma and Grandpa better than you.  But I want you to know that I still really care about you and Daddy."
"That's fine, Hadley.  Grandparents are different then parents.  I can understand why you might like them better than us."
"Right.  Well, also, sometimes when I do something bad, I hide."
I'm not sure if Hadley thought that telling me the first thing was going to soften me up for the second thing or what, but I just said, "OK" to her confession of whatever it is that she did.  I have yet to find out.  Hopefully the thing that she did isn't growing somewhere in our house.

Hadley's mission in life currently is to try and use the words "poop" and "pee" in as many sentences as possible.  I'm pretty sure she can't say them at school, and the mornings I'm trying to get her ready to go are the ones where these words are used profusely.  It's as though she's trying to rid herself of them so they don't slip out while she's talking to her friends or teachers.  But she's tricky about using them.  Take this morning, for instance.  She walks into the living room and says, "Peepoo, Mommy!"
"It's French for 'Hello!'"

The real proof that I've completely lost my mind, is loud and clear in this conversation between me, Hadley, and Harper.  You might want to put that cup of coffee or cookie down before proceeding.

Hadley took out a piece of paper and told me she was going to draw a picture.
"That's great, Hadley.  What are you going to draw a picture of?" (Big mistake, Callie.  Stop at "That's great, and just carry on with whatever you were doing.)
"I'm going to draw a picture of poop." (OK, so you've fallen in the trap.  Just say, "No, Hadley, you can't draw that."  You're the mother.  JUST. SAY. NO.
"Hadley, that's so gross."
"I'm gonna draw it." Hadley's giggling now.
"Seriously, that's disgusting."
"I'm getting out a brown crayon!" At this point, Harper runs over to see what's so funny.  When she realizes what Hadley's doing, she laughs, and then begins to make tooting noises.  This makes Hadley mad, and she tells Harper to stop it.  Telling Harper to stop anything apparently means, "Go ahead, Harper!  Keep on doing whatever it is that you're doing."  Harper continues, but can barely get any sound out because she's laughing so hard.  This makes Hadley angrier. 
"Harper, STOP IT!  I mean it!"
And me?  Here's the what I say, "Hadley?  You just spent the last 10 minutes trying to draw poop.  And now you're mad at Harper because she's making tooting noises?  IF SHE WANTS TO MAKE TOOTING NOISES SHE CAN!"

And that is why I can no longer carry on a conversation with other adults.  Although, at least I'm learning a little French.


embroadway said...

I am laughing so hard! Thanks for making my day! Glad to hear you are learning a little French too! : )

Kimberly said...

Oh my goodness! That is ridiculously funny! Maybe this is the reason I can't carry on adult conversations either ;)

Shani said...

HA! Remind me to bring all sorts of Spanish words with me when I come...

Karen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen said...

I wish I could give you hope that you'll once again speak in whole sentences when they're older...but mine are 23 and 19 now...and...


Ali said...

i TOTALLY stop my sentences before i've completed the thought. what's worse. i remember MY mom doing it, too, and thinking it was absolutely ridiculous and i would NEVER do that! why would anyone do...

...THAT. :)

Amanda said...

This was too funny Callie :) Thanks for sharing and giving us a good laugh. Your girls are so cute! Blessings!

Mink said...

that's awesome. i love your crazy girls. and i hope mine grow up just like them.

ThaiHoa said...

Hilarious. How true how true. I think pregnancy brain never left me.

Keri@GlamorousArmy said...

My kids are on a mission to see every bathroom of every place we go. It becomes extremely annoying, but at least he is at an age that his brother can go with them and I don't have to get up in a restaurant right when my meal comes to take them. It gets easier.

Ginger said...

OMG! That was HE-larious! I am going to start saying "Peepoo" all the time. Not sure if that is acceptable for a 29 year old but I don't care.


Angie @ SeriouslyAHomemaker said...

LOL! this is hilarious! we have the same life. and the same conversations. so so glad you commented this week and now i get to meet you and follow you!